Yesterday I was in the Madrid’s Book Fair (La Feria del libro, vamos). Although this is an annual event here, it’s been like… six year since last time I went. Why?
1. Usually it’s deadly hot. And I can’t stand it.
2. Far too many people. I can’t stand it either.
3. They always have the same books, bet-selleres and all that, and it’s boring. Plus, lately books are pretty expensive, so I usually think over a lot before buying one. (I love libraries).
But this year it was different…
I’m not a wise woman at all. Years in school and university have given me intellectual knowledge. I can speak three languages, I’ve read tons of books and I’ve travelled a bit having some interesting experiences. But again, I’m not wise. I haven’t developed that true intelligence about life, the ability of looking at thins from a higher point. I’m usually overhelmed by my own emotions. Nevertheless, I do have a friend who help me in such occasions. Someone I can rely on, someone whose words are like tiny spots of light when I’m lost in the gloomiest night. And now I’d like to introduce this fine creature to you, my dearest friends… but before, Do you have any mentor? Any special friend who always offers you valuable advice? Maybe you rely on your relatives? What is true wisdom for you?
Here I am setting a new blog’s section this Monday. I’m writing in an uni’s computer so whatever unexpected event may happen I hope I’m able to publish this today. I love cinema. It runs in the family I guess. My granfather used to take my mother to the films when she was a little child, without paying any sort of attention to the restrictions in age and other things model parents are always worried of. My mother did exactly the same with my sis and I. This occasionated some traumas to my over-sensitive personality (taking a five-year-old to watch Princess Mononoke may be an interesting experiment). But the important thing is today I’m a cinema lover so my mum is satisfied as all her efforts were not in vain.
In this section I want to do a recount of all the films I’ve watched during the week and I’ll give special attention to the features in them I’ve enjoyed most.
It’s taking me literally hours to write this post. Somehow I’m afraid of writing about who I am. Well, I know I’m not the only person in the world with this kind of doubts. ‘Existential doubts’ they call them. I used to think aloud so much when I was a teenager. I believed it made me look cool when I was with my friends. But afterall, here I am, and those questions, specially the eternal who am I? scares me to death. When I think about it I only see this desolated wintery landscape. White mountains, white sky, white ground. When everything is covered by the snow of uncertainty, how you really know there is actually something under it? Is faith the answer? Wow, here we are approaching another difficult matter, spirituality, and it’s too much for a single day, sorry. And if you feel those speculations have nothing to do with you… then please, just tell me, who are you?
Life with its ups and downs can turn anyone crazy. I’m usually so angry when something bad happens to me, specially if I think I don’t deserve it (which is most of the times). This anger does me no good. Let’s say that in such occasions I’m not a person to share a mug of tea in harmonious calm. Nevertheless, after anger always comes deep melancholy. And guess what. Melancholy taught me to be optimistic. When you are drown in the waters of your own anguish you can hear nothing, you can see no nothing. Everything is transformed in this shiny, turbid, colorful mess. And it’s so beautiful as apurple twilight. Then you feel there’s still some kind of hope. In beauty is possible find good odds. Because life has space for everything, I suppose. It has even empty spaces for us to fill them. Here I show you mines but, what are your own spaces for? Are they wide, tiny? Do you have tons of them, so many that you forget about them? Or do you have a reasonable number of spaces, those that you know you will always like?
Sometimes is just about that. Macaroni or spaguetti. Preferences make us unique. And it’s important to remind that these are our own. We don’t need to share them with the ones we love. Because, if you really like it, you enjoy it alone. Without explanations, reasons, logic or regret. Preferences are freedom. And sometimes it feels so good when we speak them out. So, what do you prefer?
Kaonashi 